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Create Resiliency Blog

Clip art of person with top of head open and hearts escaping

One of the most important components of Emotional Intelligence (EI) is Empathy. This word is often used interchangeably with the word Sympathy. While Sympathy refers to an expression of care and concern for someone’s suffering, Empathy is a person’s ability to recognize and share the emotions of another person. Empathy is feeling with someone, while Sympathy is feeling for someone.

map and compass

Out of all the components of emotional intelligence, relationship management is the most fundamental to your survival. Think of your first years in this world. Did someone instruct you to love your caregivers, cry when you needed help, or laugh during a game of peek-a-boo? It was likely natural and instinctual to engage in relationships with others, because your survival depended on it and your perfect little body was made for it. 

two people holding hands showing empathy

Plainly, social awareness is the ability to understand and respond to the needs of others. More poetically, it is empathy 2.0. Through empathy, we understand how someone is feeling, but with social awareness we are both instinctual and thoughtful with ours and other’s feelings. 

woman silhouette sunset

Last month, a friend cancelled plans that we had made months in advance. She had bought us both tickets for a special annual event that I was stoked for. Some unexpected schedule changes had happened in her life and she chose to spend that evening with her family instead. When she texted me to cancel, I felt disappointed, hurt, and frustrated.

car key

Each day, we wake up with choices. I see practicing the Four Domains of Emotional Intelligence as part of this daily choice. Both internally (the choices I make with my thoughts, feelings and perceptions)  and externally (the way I treat my family, friends, colleagues, community members), emotional intelligence starts with intention,

cornfield with vehicle tracks

A long time ago, I was riding in my uncle’s truck somewhere in the cornfields of Iowa, passing by the billowy plumes of smoke from the coal plants scattered alongside the highway, listening to him tell me a story about coal miners. Uncle Dan always had interesting stories, so I pricked up my young ears and listened to the tale 

stressed man sitting at desk

Often as I commute into work through The Gorge, I lose myself in the rolling and jagged hills, the reflection of sunrise on the Columbia River, and the general oasis that we’re lucky enough to live in. My commute also provides an opportune time to bring my awareness inward to my emotional state

bananas on display at grocery store

Grocery stores are interesting places. For some people, it might be the only interaction they have, face-to-face, with the outside world on a given day.  For others, it might just be a pit stop among many face-to-face social interactions. It’s also a place with people in different states of emotions – some laid back and others in a rush, some focused and others jovially engaging in conversation. 

Grow spelled out in Scrabble letters on grass

Growing isn’t always comfortable, just ask any human that’s passed through the ages of one to 16 years, which is a lot of humans.  Growth spurts can be awkward and uncomfortable, plagued with lots of sleeping, eating, hormone changes, and behavior changes.  Humans change in size and shape, some once and done and others over a longer period of time where clothes fit one week and not the next.

awkward text

We’ve all been there; that moment after you’ve blazed down the long, fiery path of fighting back against persecution only to realize you maybe…probably…well yeah, you were in the wrong.